MY AUDITION WITH FRANK ZAPPA
by Russell Buddy Helm
I had just arrived for the first time in sunny LA having come from Macon, Georgia where my band, Bethlehem Asylum, was touring and recording with the original Allman Brothers with Duane and Berry and the rest of the gang. It was a high point of musical creativity. I had been living in Coconut Grove, Miami and recording for Jerry Wexler, the vice president of Atlantic Records and producer of Aretha Franklin. I had also toured with Chuck Berry, and gigged with Bo Diddley. The first week in LA I met Joni Mitchell at her gig at the Troubadour, also Van Dyke Parks, John Sebastian among others, introduced by Vince Martin; a legendary stalwart of the folkie scene from Greenwich Village in New York and Coconut Grove. I thought maybe I might continue as a working drummer but I was also interested in going back to Art School in San Francisco. My friend and erstwhile agent, Peggy asked me to drive her around in the rental car gifted me by Vince’s producer at Capital Records. She introduced me to Herb Cohen at the Whiskey where Bobby Blue Bland was appearing. I was seriously considering going back to school at the San Francisco Art Institute, but in the immediate future I drove Peggie around LA after playing sessions for Vince’s album. I was twenty three years old. Peggy directed me to park in front of Bizarre Straight records on Sunset Blvd. I waited in the rental car while she went inside. She came back out in a few minutes and stuck her head in the passenger window and asked me, “Do you want to drum with Frank Zappa?”
I answered “Sure.” I met Herb Cohen and his brother Mutt and they expressed interest in song publishing. I was very unsophisticated in the music business.
I entered the offices and walked down a long narrow corridor to the back of the building where a huge sound stage was filled with Zappa’s equipment and fans watching the genius at work. His sound system was the biggest I had ever seen, The whole room was filled with gear and people. But there was no drummer. Then I saw Ralph Humphries, one of the greatest drummers, shoving his drums into their cases with an angry energy. I went over to him. He was very pissed off.
“Hi Ralph. What’s going on. Are you playing with Frank?”
He scowled, “Frank and I just don’t get along.” He grumbled and continued to pack up his drums.
Frank was conducting the band of all stars, George Duke on keyboards was trying to stay optimistic, Jean Luc Ponte, the electric violin maestro was sulking. Ruth Underwood on xylophone was unperturbed waiting for direction. It was without a doubt the greatest band in LA at that time. Frank counted it off and they went through the song again and it sounded horribIe. When it came time for the violin solo Jean luc refused to play and sat with his arms folded and scowled at Frank. Frank glared back at him while conducting the rest of the band. At the end of the alotted number of measures for the violin solo Jean luc let loose a barrage of notes like a machine gun cramming a full solo into the last measure. It was a very uptight rehearsal. Not the kind of music I was used to playing. I was used to the sweet slide of Duane, the authentic soul of the Allman brothers snd the jazzy folk rock blues style of my band. I approached Frank.
“Herb said you needed a drummer.” I said,
“Can you read my charts? He snarled at me.
“I’ve read psychotic charts before.” I responded with a level of Southern redneck joking tone that went right over every one’s head. Frank suddenly appeared defensive,
“Well I prefer rock n roll.” He said almost apologetically.
“Me too.” I said trying to defuse the already antagonistic mood.
Without further ado, I climbed behind a nice white pearl Slingerland drumset and glanced at the chart for Overnight Sensation on the music stand in front of me.
“No music stands onstage.” Frank said ominously. “We go out on tour three days. Memorize the charts by then.”
I immediately felt the pressure of the Big Time. And I didn’t like it. The notes on the charts looked like chicken scratches on cocaine. The song began with a complicated phrase in a strange time signature. I had been trained in sight reading difficult music but not recently. I had gotten a little laid back in the South, playing by ear and feel. Frank liked scaring people.
“Sing it more Black” Frank instructed the singer. That rubbed me the wrong way. Back in the South that would have gotten Frank a busted nose at the least.
Instead of waiting for Frank’s bitter direction, I launched into a soulful groove and everyone immediately smiled and joined in. Jean Luc perked right up and tucked his violin under his chin and did what he did best. George Duke nodded, smiled and comped some jazz blues chords. Suddenly I had hijacked the greatest band in LA. and we were smiling while playing from our hearts. It was a priceless moment of spontaneous creative joy. Even Frank had to jam along with us otherwise he would appear to be totally lame. The groove was what I call Marching Through Georgia, compliments of Jaimo and Butch. Suddenly Frank waved his arm and tried to get everyone to stop. They reluctantly stopped playing. Frank stood up and announced, getting back into control of the whole scene,
“Ten minute break! Frank’s gotta take a shit!” He stood up handed his Les Paul to his waiting roadie and stomped off across the stage to the rest room. Everyone sat there and waited, passively, silently.
“Man, He must be paying you guys a lot of money…” I muttered to myself. Then suddenly something snapped in my ADHD brain. I got up off the drumset and walked across to the bathroom door and pounded on it really loud. Frank responded with a yell. “What?!!”
I answered with a barely controlled tone. “It’s Buddy, Frank. I gotta go.”
His voice was angry but restrained, “Okay. I’ll be right out.”
I waited a moment then I pounded on the door again, louder, “He screamed, “What!!!”
“Frank Its Buddy I really have to go.”
I heard his grumbling and big sigh as he buckled up his rock star belt and black jeans, muttering. “Okay, Okay, I’ll be right out.”
I waited another few moments then I REALLY pounded on the door again.
“Frank! Its Buddy…Bye.”
I turned and walked out.
P.S. On the way out I stopped in front of Herb’s closed door to his office and stood next to a short curly haired kid with sparkling eyes, slouched against the wall. He looked up at me.
“What did they send you to the principal’s office for today?”
“I can’t work with Frank.” I answered.
He laughed really hard, “Nobody can work with Frank!”
“What do you play?” He asked me.
“Drums” I said.
“Where are you from?”
“Coconut Grove.”
He immediately perked up and asked me with more sincerity than I had seen in LA up to that point.
“How is Fred Neil?” He asked humbly.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Tim Buckley. I need a drummer.”
“I heard your new album “Greetings from LA”. Nice mix of Afro Cuban with R and B.”
At my audition for Tim, he said after the first song, “You want to go on the road?” He seemed to approve of my playing.
“Okay.” I said, “Give me your albums so I can learn your tunes,”
He shook his head. “No. Play whatever you want to play. No charts.”
I worked with him for the next few years until his death in 1975. At one point I quit and enrolled in the art department of San Jose State but Tim came up to the school and convinced me to play with him again. We recorded several albums; “Safronia” and a live release called “Honeyman.” We toured Europe and extensively in the states. Whenever I saw Frank Zappa in the Bizarre Straight office he avoided me.